britt: (Default)
britt ([personal profile] britt) wrote2009-07-27 01:55 pm
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At last!

So pretty much since I created this journal I've been pondering what to use it for. It's not the time for me to move journals completely (thought that may happen) but I knew something would occur to me that should have it's own space.

About two weeks ago I was diagnosed with bipolar I, after struggling with anxiety and panic disorders for most of my life. My trusty SSRI was no longer working, I knew I needed a new psychiatrist in the area where I had moved to, and I felt pretty certain I needed some new medication, so I got a referral to a lovely psychiatrist and when she told me that it seemed clear to her that my bipolar genes were showing themselves, it definitely started to make sense.

Still, it's a scary diagnosis. I've seen the damage bipolar has done in my family, and by it's very DSM IV definition it will never be cured, only treated. Being told you have a potentially life destroying illness that you will never really be rid of can be a bit of a shocker, as you can imagine.

So there it is. This journal is going to serve as a record of my journey with bipolar, and will remain public. In doing so I hope that this whole bizarre experience will make more sense to me, and that it can maybe help someone else understand some of what bipolar is and isn't.